I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
