i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
