He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
