I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I need to align my fucking chakras
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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