And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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