Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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