shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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