Little spoons don't ask big questions
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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