oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
