brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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