His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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