the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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