i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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