he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
