And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Is it because I queefed?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
