Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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