never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize