You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
