That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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