you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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