Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
