kristin has been a bad kristin
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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