Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
