please come you make the beer taste better
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
