these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We talked him into tasing himself.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
