It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
