I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
