my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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