batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
