some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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