Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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