I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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