the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
