Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
