i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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