Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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