Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
