i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
