I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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