? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
