But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I intend to get homeless drunk
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
