There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
