Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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