The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
