We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
