ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
