8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
