you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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