I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
