Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
