I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
