Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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