her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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