Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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