Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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