But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize