I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
