i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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