I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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