And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
