Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
